Once upon a time a princess and a dodo met in a mosh pit.
Now, you may have thought I was clever by beginning my tale like that; I certainly applauded myself. First, by introducing a princess and a dodo, you thought perhaps that once upon a time was a very, very long time ago. After all, the world has far fewer princesses in these times than when royal families abounded across the land, and the dodo, a pleasant enough bird if saddled with a silly name, has been considered extinct for lo, these many years.
However, the mosh pit is an invention of the 20th century, and therefore once upon a time must be far more recent, and although our two main characters may have lived in the 20th century, it seems unlikely. Thus, we must be in a different 20th century than the one we may be familiar with, that is to say, either the century in which we lived a part of our lives or the century which concluded shortly before we were born, and for the latter, it may as well have been a very, very long time ago.
I, for example, think of World War II to have occurred a very, very long time ago, even though it ended only eight years before my birth, and eight years does not seem like a very, very long time anymore. And yet, of course, I have no memory of it, it did not occur in my lifetime, and anything that happened before my lifetime must have been a very, very long time ago.
But because mosh pits and dodos did not exist in the same time frame, we must conclude not that once upon a time was a very, very long time ago, but that indeed we are talking not only about once upon a time, but once upon a place, a place that must not be anywhere in the world as we know it.
And so, clever me, I have established that this is a fantasy, set in a different world from ours, and probably a different time, and I have done so in a mere 14 words.
That’s the easy part, for now I must explain what this princess and that dodo were doing in a mosh pit. What band was playing? Where was the venue? How active was the mosh pit? Was it a rainy day, a sunny day, or one of those days where the weather doesn’t particularly matter anyway? What kingdom was this? Why did the princess decide to go to the concert? How did the dodo get there? And with all those people moshing about in the pit, how did this particular princess and that particular dodo manage to meet against all odds?
And how in bejeebers do we get from here to happily ever after? No wonder authors have fits.