Our story thus far: Dejah, Summer and I were having a conversation with an elfin being who used to live on this land before we bulldozed over it and built the house. We actually were close to reaching an understanding. Just then we all heard a high-pitched screech from up above. It was the cry of an eagle seeking its prey, and it was coming down fast towards us.
An eagle is a majestic creature that makes a breathtaking sight when it is navigating the eddies of a gentle breeze. I have to say, however, that seeing it diving toward you at full speed can be a little disconcerting.
I didn’t think it was going to try to carry off a golden retriever or a portly human. On the other hand, I figured our new friend the elf might appear to be a tasty morsel to a bird of prey.
But before I could make a move to protect him or her, the little person waved a hand and a shield of some sort appeared in his/her hand. Just as suddenly, in a voice louder than a dog’s bark and — in fact — louder than my own loudest shout, the elf cried, “BACK OFF, BUDDY!”
Talons extended to the fullest, the startled eagle suddenly waved its wings in a sudden stop and diverted to the top of the backyard fence. It quickly regained its dignity and drew itself up officiously.
“I beg your pardon,” the eagle said. “You obviously have no idea who I am.”
“You’re a bald eagle, who knows, maybe you’re the local king of the bald eagles,” said the little being. “Big hairy deal.”
“How dare you!” cried the mighty bird.
“How? It’s easy. You’re nothing special, just a bird that likes to try to intimidate innocents,” the elf said in a huff. “I’ve seen mooks like you picking at roadkill like any other buzzard. You don’t scare me.”
“You ought to be scared,” snarled the eagle. “I could have you for lunch.”
“Can we not talk about dining on sentient beings?” Dejah asked in a can’t-we-just-get-along tone. “Clearly we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot, and maybe we can start by introducing ourselves. I’m Dejah, my counterpart here is named Summer, and the large human is —”
“Not in the mood,” said the eagle. “If you’re going to resist being eaten, I’ll just head somewhere with more willing victims.”
“Guy’s got a future in politics,” the elf said under his/her breath as the big bird flew officiously away.
“I have a question,” I said. “In the last few minutes, an inter-dimensional portal has opened and closed, we met an elfin being who accused us of destroying his ancestral home, and we’ve insulted a bald eagle who was hoping to eat the elf for lunch.”
“Yep,” said Summer.
“Oh, that’s another thing,” I said. “My dogs are talking to me.”
“We certainly are,” Dejah agreed.
“So can someone explain to me what the bejeebers is going on around here?” I said, rather earnestly.
At precisely that moment, a sound like thunder rumbled the ground, and a pillar of fire shot into the sky from the other side of the backyard fence.
“Oh, great,” said the elf. “The dragon’s here.”
