When last we met: “This isn’t helping,” said the buck. “We need to be figuring out how to defend this land, not fighting among ourselves.” “Yeah,” Bellzy the worblatt said, stepping through the dimensional portal and into the field once again. “You never know when the bad guys might attack.”
Bellzy stepped through the portal onto the small field in front of the septic mound. His friend Clancy, who had been incinerated and then refreshed somehow, stepped through next, checking the ground as if to make sure it was free of dog poo. Finally, Bub came through and stood with his comrades.
“Hi again, folks, remember us?” Bellzy said, looking confidently around at the assembled eagles, white-tailed deer, dragons and [unpronounceables]. “So here’s how it’s going to be. We’re setting up camp to prepare for the coming of the Evil One.”
“I thought the Evil One was that giant buffoon who shouted all the time,” Dejah said. “Oh, that’s right, he got mad when you admitted he wasn’t really the Evil One.”
“You’re pretty sassy for a mutt,” said Clancy, taking a step towards her. “Maybe I oughtta teach you some manners.”
“Careful, Summer and Daddy were out there yesterday and I think she pooped.”
“WHAT?!” Clancy shouted, losing his balance as he looked at the ground in alarm, flailing and falling over with a BOOM. For a 20-foot worblatt, the guy had a serious phobia for dog poop.
The mystic [unpronounceable] named Blurg came up next to Grenn, and I realized suddenly that I had mistaken her for a little male wizard.
“I have an idea,” she said. “Cover me.” Blurg made a circle with her hand, a small inter-dimensional portal appeared, and she stepped through with a half-dozen other [unpronounceables].
“I’m rather sure this gentleman does not welcome worblatts camping on his property,” the great buck said to the worblatts.
“What’s he going to do about it?” Bub said.
In answer, the bucks and dragons took a step forward, surrounding the three giants, and the eagles began to circle overhead.
“Oh, mommy, I’m scared,” said Bellzy, using that childlike taunt that grownup villains assume when they’re not scared at all.
The dimensional portal through which they had entered was still open, or else seven rotten tomatoes would not have been able to emerge from the portal and smack the three worblatts on the side of their angry-looking heads just then.
“Hey!” said Bellzy.
“What the —?” said Bub.
“EWW!” said Clancy.
Through the portal we could see Blurg and four of her companions standing in a field on the other side.
“Get them!” Bellzy shouted, and he and his two comrades dove back through the portal and began running after the little elfin beings.
As soon as they were out of sight, two other [unpronounceable] mystics stepped forward, hopped through the portal to our side, and made several elaborate gestures while chanting something I could never pronounce.
The portal closed with a rather unpleasant zipping sound.
“Sealed!” One of the mystics cried.
“What about Blurg and the others?” Summer asked with her usual trepidation.
In a few moments, another portal re-formed next to Grenn and the five other mystics leapt through. Blurg came through last, stumbling to the ground. From her sitting position she made the same gestures and incantations her colleagues had used. An enormous worblatt hand reached through the portal and the closing portal zipped around it.
“OW! OW! OW!” came a voice that sounded like Clancy’s, and the hand pulled back through before the final, unpleasant zipping sound that sealed the portal.
“Is it my imagination,” asked the regal eagle, “or are worblatts all clumsy oafs?”
“Great job, Blurg,” Grenn said, giving her a hug that suggested — at least to me — that they might be more than just fellow warriors.
“Piece of pie,” Blurg replied.
Another elfin being opened the patio door and came out onto the deck. Through the glass I could see several [unpronounceables] sitting on the floor in front of my television.
Before I could voice my thought that everyone was getting a bit too comfortable, the elf on the deck said, “I think you need to see this.”
