wpb’s note: I almost hate to interrupt from here in the real world and explain what’s been happening, but after a week I feel obligated. Last weekend I did a post called “The adventure begins,” just a little bit of fluff or flash fiction, but then I imagined what happened next, so I wrote that up as a second chapter. Then I thought it might be fun to keep going with the same whimsical pattern every day: The cliffhanger from the day before is resolved and something weird happens, leading to another cliffhanger. After three or four days, I thought that if I kept the whimsy going until Election Day, I could accomplish three things: offer a whimsical alternative to obnoxious campaign news, prevent myself from writing something snide about the obnoxious campaign, and maybe complete a nice little 39-chapter fantasy novella. I don’t know where the story is going or whether it will really last until Nov. 5. I just wanted to tell you what’s happening and why, and invite you along for the ride.
Our story thus far: Dejah and Summer, my golden retrievers, started talking one morning. Then, in quick succession, an inter-dimensional portal appeared in the back yard, something started to come through but was scared off by the dog poop, an elfin being named Grenn appeared and chastised us for destroying his habitat, an eagle swooped in to eat Grenn but was fended off, Seth the Dragon came by to visit his elfin friend and warn us about the Evil One, and another portal appeared and another something (a worblatt, it turns out) came through but got fried by Seth. Grenn and Seth had just told us the Evil One was still in the neighborhood when a buzzing sound came from the inter-dimensional portal, and a second later a swarm of insects surged through.
The bugs were a black, undulating cloud. I stepped back and raised my hands to wave them away, but I realized almost at once that they were somehow familiar. With a start I recognized that they were —
“Lake flies!” Grenn screamed, waving his arms blindly about his face and turning in a circle as the little beasts swarmed past and around him.
“But lake flies are harmless,” I cried.
“Of course they are!” the elf yelled. “But they’re infernally annoying!!”
Every year, three or four times for a couple of days at a time, a new hatch of lake flies hatches and harasses folks all over this neck of the woods. They don’t sting, they don’t bite, they don’t menace anyone or anything, they just fly around, gather around light sources, and make a general nuisance. As far as anyone knows, they don’t serve any purpose except to provide a food source for the birds, irritate humans, and commit mass suicide against windshields all along the highway.
“Why would a swarm of lake flies come through the evil inter-dimensional portal?” Dejah inquired.
“Portals aren’t good or evil,” said Seth the Dragon. “They’re just entryways between dimensions. There’s good and evil on either side.”
“I think lake flies are evil,” Summer said.
“No, silly, they’re just infernally annoying, like Grenn said,” Dejah replied.
“Seth!” Grenn shouted, waving his hands madly. “A little help here?!”
“Oh, sure,” Seth said. The dragon unfurled his wings again and beat them furiously. Well, maybe furiously is the wrong word, because he wasn’t really furious. Perhaps he beat his wings vigorously, but in any case the lake flies were dispersed after a few seconds. The undulating black cloud reconnoitered over the big field next to our house.
“Now that we have a moment, could you guys explain a little more about what’s going on around here?” I asked. “Who made this prophecy that animals would start talking and the Evil One would come calling?”
“The elves,” said the dragon.
“The dragons,” said the elf.
They looked at each other.
“I thought it was part of your culture,” Seth said.
“I thought it was part of your culture,” Grenn said.
“Maybe it’s an eagle legend,” Dejah said, referring to the majestic bird that had visited a few minutes before.
“But in any case, there’s a prophecy that animals talking to humans would signal a merging of dimensions and the Evil One showing up to try to destroy everything,” I said.
“That’s the gist,” Grenn said.
“Why would this Evil One want to destroy everything?” Summer asked.
“WHO WANTS TO KNOW?” asked a voice that seemed to come from everywhere at once.
