She will always be there to remember

Willow The Best Dog There Was: March 28, 2009-March 22, 2021

The line in the song “Mr. Bojangles” always caught my heart, even before we lost Willow on my 68th birthday, one year ago: “He spoke through tears of 15 years how his dog and him traveled about. The dog up and died; he up and died — after 20 years he still grieves.”

I am very sure, if I am blessed to have an 88th birthday, that if you ask me that day about Willow, you will bring tears to my eyes after 20 years. Don’t get me wrong, I love Dejah and our new puppy Summer, but the bond I had with Willow was once in a lifetime.

I wrote this in 2017, because I knew almost from the start that the last day was going to hurt, and I resolved to let her know, every day of her life, how loved she was. I dare say this is how we should treat everyone we love:

One hundred years from now – perhaps even five years or (heaven forbid) one year from now, this beautiful furry beast will be gone.

But she is alive and well now, and beautiful now, and so I stroke her fur and hug her and know that this unique and special life is passing through, now, in this instant.

And she can only be fully known and appreciated now.

Right. Now.

So I stop everything and hug her.

A mission statement worth living

Gandhi on the rupee – Photo © Arvind Balaraman | Dreamstime.com

While removing one pile of paper from among several on Sunday, I found a printout of something I have posted two or three times over the years as “Gandhi’s mission statement,” from the writings of Mahatma Gandhi. I think I originally discovered it among sample mission statements in a Franklin Planner, back when I did Franklin Planners:

Let the first act of every morning be to make the following resolve for the day:
• I shall not fear anyone on Earth.
• I shall fear only God.
• I shall not bear ill will toward anyone.
• I shall not submit to injustice from anyone.
• I shall conquer untruth by truth,
• And in resisting untruth, I shall put up with all suffering.

How I hear those resolutions:

I shall not fear anyone on Earth. We are alike in so many ways, created equally with certain, unalienable rights. I have no right to infringe on another’s rights, nor does anyone have that right over me. Everybody poops. Everybody has hopes and dreams. Everybody deserves respect, and there is no reason to fear anyone.

I shall fear only God. I read somewhere that the original language uses the word fear in the way we use the word awe — and I am surely in awe of the wonderful creation that is this world. I would fear God’s wrath if I did not believe in a God of Love, and if I were an atheist, I would fear what might happen if God were real.

I shall not bear ill will toward anyone. This is both self-explanatory and the hardest of Gandhi’s resolutions to follow. The world teems with people who bear ill will toward me, if not personally, then toward their perception of people who look like me, think like me, believe what I believe, or were born where I was born. Someone I believe in once said when someone strikes you, turn the other cheek so they can also strike you there, and above all love that person. Easier said than done, but I also believe a gentle answer turns away wrath, and so I strive — and struggle — to follow this.

I shall not submit to injustice from anyone. This places me on a tightrope as I try not to bear ill will while also not submitting to injustice from those I’m most likely to bear ill will toward. It is possible, I know, to refuse to submit to injustice gently and firmly and even with love toward the person committing the injustice, even as they pile injustice upon injustice for refusal to submit, for refusal to fear them — but it is a difficult path.

I shall conquer untruth with truth. People in power are persistent liars, and confronting them with truth — for example, by pointing out the inconsistency in their lies — can throw them into a rage. But people recognize the truth when they hear it, and therefore untruth can always be conquered — eventually — by speaking truth, again, gently and firmly and consistently.

And in resisting untruth, I shall put up with all suffering. Make no mistake, following Gandhi’s resolutions can lead to all sorts of persecution, pain and suffering. Mohandas Gandhi was himself murdered for being who he was, the very definition of what “all suffering” means. The funny thing is, Gandhi and his teachings have survived long after we have forgotten those against whom he struggled. That’s why his “mission statement” remains so powerful almost 75 years after his death.

I think there’s more to the Think Method than thinking

Someone tried to diss the power of positive thinking again the other day. Oh, bother.

You can’t think your way out of a jam, the commentator commentated. Having a realistic view of life is the only way to go, the writer said. When life sucks, you can’t de-suck it by thinking happy thoughts.

The more the writer wrote, the more it appeared the writer was educated on positive thinking by Harold Hill. You know, the scam artist in The Music Man who convinced kids the way to play an instrument is to think the melodies.

Well, duh.

I am a firm believer in the adage attributed to Henry Ford: Whether you think you can do something or you think you can’t, you’re right. It’s all in the attitude.

The critic is right: A positive attitude isn’t going to get you somewhere if you don’t put in the work. But you’re not going to get anywhere if you don’t start out by believing, “I can do this.”

Of course you’re not going to accomplish big dreams just by having big dreams. Of course you’re not going to turn those big dreams into reality just by thinking you can do it. You have to do the work. Do you want to perform at Carnegie Hall? Practice, man, practice.

Believe you can do something, figure out how to get from here to there, and put in the work. Spend too much time looking at how much you can’t do it right here, right now, and reality is going to crash you down to earth.

But you can change reality, one agonizing inch at a time, if you think you can. That’s the power of positive thinking.

And if you think you can’t, you never will. That’s the power of negative thinking.

I’d much rather think about the possibilities than allow myself to be defined by the limitations.