This is a wanna / don’t wanna day. I want to do all the things that must be done, and I want to crawl back into bed. When will I mate the desires of my heart to the actions of my body? I’m ready to erect wondrous structures and grow fabulous gardens, but I seem to have erectile dysfunction. How do I push through the mope? If the certain knowledge that time is running out doesn’t motivate me, then what’s it going to take?
Once the biological clock ticks past 70, most every morning is a reminder that you have more mornings behind you than ahead. Everything is still doable, you just need more rest after the doing — but the urge to keep resting is powerful.
One foot in front of the other, and repeat, repeat, until it’s automatic and you’re in the zone and in the rhythm, a-rocking and a-rolling, feeling capable of anything. But then comes the resting, and the resting is so comfortable. Maybe I can walk those miles tomorrow and a little more on the day after tomorrow.
This much I know: I don’t know much. All the knowledge I’ve accumulated over the years is a fraction of what there is to know. And anyway, if I’m so smart, why ain’t I rich? Yeah, yeah, I know, I know I’m wealthier than most of the world’s humans by accident of birth. I was born on third base and I think I’ve hit a triple and all that.
And yet I still worry about the bills and the gimpy knee and how am I going to take care of this and that, and yes I know about the lilies of the field and the sparrows, so maybe I should seek the kingdom so all of these things will come. Yep, that’s what I’ll do, I’ll seek his kingdom, right after I rest for awhile.
And that’s how to just fade away, my fellow old people. Let that be an example to you young ’uns, too. No life is wasted, you can always serve as a bad example.
This is the season of verdant green. The flowers’ yellow is visible at the end of their stems, and they may burst at any moment, perhaps even today.
Last summer’s remains are covering the new growth and eager to be swept away — let my arms do the sweeping — I’ve rested enough, time for spring cleaning and the fresh coats of paint and all the other doings to be done!
This first cup of coffee still waits to be finished, though, and I have my morning puzzles ahead. Yes, just a little more rest, and before I know it, day is done and time for bed.
I’m exaggerating. Miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep. The nice part about seeking the kingdom of God is you don’t have to look very far to realize you’re already living there, if you know where to look. And in springtime it’s all around us.
