My pastor friend gave me a card with the fruits of the Spirit from thechristianpostercompany.com, which is going to find a prominent place in my household. I think I may need a little practice on some of them, especially patience and self-control.

My frequent prayer is, “Lord grant me patience, I need it NOW.” It’s hard to wait — some things just take time and persistence before what needs to happen is going to happen.

And then there’s self-control. I need to have the patience to follow through and to know that if I persist, I will lose the weight I need to lose for the sake of my health and my aging knees. But to do that, I need to master my self-control, too. 

It’s been some time now since I resolved to write more about the fruit of the Spirit and made “Love our neighbors and everyone is a neighbor” the theme of this website, and yet frequently as I ponder what to write in this space, my mind is distracted by current events. 

I have often quoted Dave Mason’s wonderful song “We Just Disagree” (written by Jim Krueger, who lived not far from here) — “There ain’t no good guys, there ain’t no bad guys, there’s only you and me and we just disagree.” The lyrics are about a personal relationship, but the thought also works in a larger context.

Our differences are shaped by our perceptions of the world, and what alarms me, you may see as proper and right. As we try to understand each other, we find common ground and eventual agreement, even if it’s to agree we’re going to disagree on the less important stuff.

More and more lately, it seems people are not willing to try to understand and simply conclude that there ARE bad guys, and the bad guys are all the people who disagree with them. Some are even willing to commit violence against the perceived bad guys. Even more frustrating is a willingness to overlook the behavior they supposedly hate when it’s committed by people they agree with.

When I start to get fearful or even angry about this trend, I try to step back and remember that bad guys — evil people — actually do exist, but they’re the people who have a vested interest in stirring up hatred among everyday folks who otherwise could easily find reasons to love one another. If “Blessed are the peacemakers,” then surely the opposite is true and there’s a special place in hell for those who seek to spread hatred and dissension.

My only recourse is to do my best to influence the only behavior I can control — mine. And now I’m back to working on my self-control. I can’t help it if you hate people who believe as I do, but at least I can respond to your rage with love, joy, peace, patience and all the rest. Eventually, one hopes and prays, your rage will be spent and, one hopes and prays, you won’t have killed me in the process.

I do know that responding in kind will not work. A violent revolution only replaces one violent regime with another. Tackling this mess non-violently will take much more time, and one despairs of finding peace even in my lifetime, but it beats meeting the ongoing rage with more rage, and peace is a much healthier state of mind.